Frequently Asked Questions…

What is a Muffintop?

For people not sufficiently slim, the spillage over one's speedo is often said to resemble a muffintop.

What is the Legend of the Middlebury Muffintops?

Long, long ago, in a swimming pool far, far away… OK, well not so long ago, and frankly not even that far away, a group of middle-aged, out of shape men and women clandestinely met at the Middlebury College pool at absurdly early hours of the morning with a dream – a dream to turn back the cruel hands of time and rebuild their physique to the fitness levels of their youth. Secretly convening as the Royal Order of the Water Buffalo, these determined individuals conquered sleep deprivation, physical pain and oxygen deficiency to become the most elite group of master's swimmers in all of Middlebury Vermont (pop. 8183). To celebrate their accomplishments (and their girth), they renamed themselves the Middlebury Muffintops. The rest is aquatic history...

Are there any traditions that continue from the Royal Order of the Water Buffalo?

Yes, the Grand Poobah hat is temporarily awarded to any Muffintop whose poolside blunders deserve special recognition (e.g., a blatantly obvious false start on a potential record-breaking relay at NEM SCY Championships).

What is the Pumpkin Patch?

Our most elite swimmers train in what has come to be known as the Pumpkin Patch. Self-described Hairy Pumpkins, these are the most revered of all Muffintops, capable of breaking NEM records from a push-off at the end of a long practice, finishing a 200 Fly without the need of medical assistance, and sprinting faster than collegiate athletes at the ripe old age of half-a-century.

Will I be able to keep up with the Muffintops? What if I can’t do flipturns? What if I can’t do butterfly or the other strokes?

The Muffintops welcome everyone from fitness lap swimmers to former collegiate competitors. Workouts can be easily adapted to each swimmer’s fitness and skill level.

Flipturns are not necessary nor is it required that swimmers do strokes other than freestyle. To put your mind at ease, most of our elite squad of Hairy Pumpkins lack any breaststroke ability.

If I join the Muffintops, do I need to enter competitions?

No, many of our swimmers join the Muffintops for fitness and camaraderie only. All that is needed is a sense of humor, a warm spirit and a willingness to “let it all hang out” (or at least “hang over”).

I don’t understand the workout jargon—what does it all mean?

Beginning swimmers are often confused by some of the workout lingo. Here is a quick guide, but feel free to ask questions during practice.

Descend: During a set, the first swim should be long and easy, slowly building each swim until the last swim which should be the fastest. For example, in a set of 5x100s “descend”, the first 100 is slow and the 5^th 100 is fast.

Build: Start the swim slow and get progressively faster with each lap of the swim. For example, in a 200 yard “build”, you should swim each of the four 50s progressively faster.

DEBF: “Down easy back fast”—for example in a set of 25s or 50’s, do the first 25 easy and the second 25 hard.

IM: Individual Medley combines the four strokes in the following order: butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, freestyle.

Muffintop IM: Invented and perfected by the Middlebury Muffintops, this unique individual medley consists of some combination of cheaters one-arm fly, backstroke, breaststroke with a butterfly kick and freestyle. While not yet officially recognized by the United States Masters Swimming Association, we have submitted the Muffintop IM for approval and anxiously await its introduction in the next Olympics.

On the Muffin-Top: When referring to the time clock, this means, “Not this top, but the next top” as Muffintops are world renown for seizing every opportunity for additional rest.

Bam-Buzzelled: When a fellow swimmer hangs out on the wall, drags and/or loafs for the majority of a set and then swoops in to decimate the field on the very last swim.

Tubby-Time: Sometimes our swimmers are afflicted with a sudden urge to float about, sharing their finely developed muffintops with the world. Often done in lieu of the main set, a Muffintop in Tubby-time can sometimes be mistaken for a beached whale.